I slept for two hours! Which is one of those sentences that can mean almost anything you like depending on where you put the emphasis. For example, emphasizing the preposition makes it look like the title of a grand saga: I slept for two hours. If you say it out loud the effect is completely lost, though.

Yesterday I got it on reliable authority (my mother, who counts) that I am at least better-looking than I was in eighth grade. This is especially reassuring as I’ve begun to use nearly the same hairstyle. Then, as now, I felt a strangely urgent compulsion to coil all my hair on the top of my head, after which I suppose I expect someone to hand me a dress with stays and a bustle and send me on a hunt for a gentleman of no profession to marry.

(If you haven’t seen Sense and Sensibility nine times, that means “rich lord.” I’m not saying I’d have any idea what to do with him once I married him other than propose we both take mistresses immediately, but it’s like the Victorian version of Pokemon except that you must be very careful to catch only one–or at least to ensure the neighbors think you have.)

If I were to go spouse-shopping, I would have to find somewhere much less…library school to do it. In my cohort, at least, there are lots of straight women, who are of little use to me; and a fair few gay men, who are of slightly more use to me but not for reasons of marriage; and a few straight men, or so they say (of course I believe them, because why would I not?); and only one other queer uterus-enabled person, as far as I can tell, and in addition to having a girlfriend who lives across the country she’s a libertarian. Not much use at all. Her hair is very shiny, though.

(Nothing I write on this blog that isn’t about depression or cooking is ever serious, incidentally; it’s at least half made up, and the rest is for my own amusement.)

I have just checked for the second time to make sure that the left lens of my glasses has not fallen out. Turns out lack of sleep really just is that disorienting. Wish me luck, internet.

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