I’m at Mom’s, drinking her coffee and eating of her hummus and Saltines.

The first several–not going to say how many–times I tried to type “Saltines” it came out “Stalines.” Maybe they’re born with a tendency to set up a fascist dictatorship in the name of communism and then arrest you when you try to explain what “irony” actually is, Alanis Morisette notwithstanding! Maybe it’s STALINES, a vitamin supplement coming soon to a college bookstore near you.

(Because Staline rhymes with Maybelline, you see, and–)

Gotta love a guy who says “we’re communist now, we’re going to share everything, so give me all your food.” No, really–you have to. It’s the law.

These have been historical jokes brought to you by how much I hate midterms.

In theory blogs have some kind of central organization, yeah? And continuity? And there’s a tendency to ever write about the same subject more than once, and/or introduce a narrative of some kind as and when possible? Not here, buddy. You’re on the Tumblr-influenced side of town. The only things we have are caffeine and a bizarrely thorough knowledge of science fiction and/or fantasy television shows.