Friend from grad school: “Hey, some of us are going to get sushi. Do you want to come?”
Me: “Sure!” (NO.) “Where is it?”
Friend from grad school: “At an intersection of two of the busiest streets in the city.”
Me: “Okay, see you there!” (AT RUSH HOUR ARE YOU KIDDING ME.)
MY BANK ACCOUNT, ON THE OTHER HAND: lol stay home.
Me (via text): My bank account said “lol stay home.” Darn! (NOT REALLY DARN)
Friend from grad school (probably): You liar.
Me: Sssshhhhh. Maintain the illusion, friend from grad school. Maintain. The. Illusion.